my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
