Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
