Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I have already put on my inside pants.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
