Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
