just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
