I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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