Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
