Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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