That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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