remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He shit in the fireplace
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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