please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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