I'm going to rape someone's good day.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
