He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
