Where did you get a picture of my penis
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
