It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
