dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
