Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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