Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
