I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Houston, we have a squirter
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
