they need to just BURY HIM!
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
