Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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