Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You were trust falling into bushes
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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