His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
