she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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