This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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