Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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