Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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