Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
