I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm eating all of the evidence.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
