Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
