halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize