Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Still dying that you shit outside
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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