oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
