i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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