I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He passed out mid-signature
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
