She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Too much gin, very little bucket
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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