Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
