Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
