like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
No subtext here. People are naked.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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