whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
