You can't motorboat a personality
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
