Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
you had me at cake vodka
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
