I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
