did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
