My Higher Power is John Stamos
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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