sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
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