see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
