I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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