We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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