he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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