It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
