she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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